CASUAL CALL

 

– Hello …hem …God?

– Yes, Child, Speaking. Tell Me What Your Problem Is.

– First I would like to thank you for…

– Child, Child, Child, You Are Billions On The Blue Ball, And I Have But One Blue Line, So Before You Try And Do The Math, Just Tell Me What It Is That Has Been Troubling You.

– Well, I think I may have a bug inside.

– A Fly, A Worm?

– No, sir, nothing like that. I… I don’t feel adequate.

– Hem… What?

– As if I don’t belong, sir, because you see… it might come as a shock, but I can think. I am able to.

– Oh. Ok, Just Tell Me Now, Where Do You Live Exactly, Town or City?

– Town, sir God.

– Ah, Alright, I Can See What Troubles You.

– Also, dear sir…

– Yes, Sweet Child?

– I am a woman.

– Ah.

– …

– Interesting…

– Sir?

– …

– God sir??

# God will be right with you, child, hold on please, hold on tight #

 

[#]

– Bob? …Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick Up… BOOOOOB?!

– «Doom Service at your Command.»

– Put Her Highness On The Phone, It Is Most Urgent.

– «I am sorry, your Worldship, I was specifically asked Not to disturb her Highness while attending her Divine Baththrone Session.»

– WHAT THE ALMIGHT!? I DON’T ALMIGHTING CARE IF SHE IS IN HER BUBBLE BATH OR ON THE NEXT MOON SHE JUST DREW! CONNECT ME IMMEDIATELY TO MY WIFE THE GODDESS!

– «Right away, your Worldship, one God coming through.»

[#]

– …hellooo?

– WHAT THE ALMIGHT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CREATURE!? IT WENT COMPLETELY AWOL!!!

– sorry, hon, can’t really hear you when you’re shouting in the telephone.

– MY BOOBDOLL! AWOL!

– yes, your titbot, what about her? did she leave the house and loose her way?

– WORST! SHE THHHHHINKS!

– ah. tough one. what did you do to it?

– COMMENT qu’est-ce que je lui ai fait mais je…

– don’t be rude, hon.

– but I am not!

– did I not just hear you speaking french?

– yes but I was not, je t’assure! J’accuse l’auteure!

– enough already.

– my bad.

– right, so let me make myself plainspoken to you : I have just happened to dive in my bubble bath a few minutes ago, right after returning from a ve-ry long battle with the giants of Sorxtun, so grab a pair and leave me the almight alone.

– but… but… but she thinks!

– well, she stopped drinking coffee, left the house, and is thinking anew, right, but it’s just one of them, a little bug in the system. And, by the way, hon, of course you do understand now why I told you since the beginning not to underestimate this one.

– I know, I recall it all, or the biggest part of it, but how did she? How could she! I mean this model was just a pile of crap, ain’t I right?

– mmh, let me refresh your memory, Godpal, you remember asking for one of my tiny replicas.

– your… why did I forget that?

– I did explain everything about it although I recall you kept reaching for my legs under that lovely blue dress of mine.

– Dress, yes, the bluuuuue dress.

– then you put yours and mine together and a blink after that they had a fight, that’s when you decided to call her…

– pile of crap.

– right, bybye now.

[#]

 

# God will answer you soon. God will be with you. Believe it to be true in a moment or two #

– Child?

– Yes, sir God sir?

– You Do Have A Bug.

– But… but…

– Right. Clever Girl.

 

Clonk.

Bip bip bip bip

# The line has broken. Goodbye from Heaven #

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